Recently, a local paper here published the results of a survey that says it can tell your personality by what Chicago neighborhood you’ve chosen to live in. Okay, so I live on the North side, near the lake, and according to this survey, that means I’m likely to be neurotic. I find this funny (yet worrying)  because a writer friend of mine is always calling me neurotic, and I’m always denying it, while at the same time lobbing the insult back at her.

I’d love to cast doubt over this survey but am finding that difficult to do. The same survey found that people who live in Obama’s neighborhood are reportedly moderately agreeable, very conscientious, and more extroverted. Is that perfect, or what?

But according to the author, I shouldn’t worry about being called neurotic because all of New York is filled with us “anxious, creative types.” Is he right? And if so, is that supposed to make me feel better? What to do? What to do? Am I right, or are they? Did they extrapolate the data regarding Obama from surveying the neighborhood, or did they look at Obama’s traits and lable the neighborhood? Should I move? Are they right about me? What do you think? Do you think I’m neurotic?

Hey! Are you talking about me? (suspicious eyebrow lift)

Aaaagh!

What do I do? What do I do? (Now  pulling at hair and gnashing teeth).